Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Things I Now Understand

My blog post on Friday night generated a LOT of response--numerous public comments, in addition to several private e-mails and facebook messages. Thanks to EVERYONE for your support. These are the thoughts I am left with.

(1) I am NOT alone. I am surrounded by generous, encouraging friends and a loving, supportive family. I need to celebrate these people. Make more time for them. Focus on what I HAVE instead of what I DON'T have.

(2) I have A LOT. Three amazing children. A great dog. A thriving business. A roof over my head and clothes to wear and food to eat.

(3) It is time to let go of the relationships/behaviors that AREN'T working for me and focus on the relationships/behaviors that ARE working for me. (I'm getting there.) Because it is obvious that there is a lot more on the plus side than there is on the minus side.

(4) I must take better care of myself. I tend to push myself too hard, to the brink of exhaustion. Then I self-medicate, which ultimately hurts more than it helps. One piece of advice I received on facebook was this: "As the flight attendants say, when the oxygen masks come down, put your own mask on before attempting to help those around you." Makes perfect sense: I'm no good to anyone if I don't have my own act together.

(5) I need to reflect on what's gone wrong on my previous romantic relationships so that I don't keep making the same mistakes. It seems that I gravitate towards two kinds of people: abusers and hangers-on. I have to trust that if there's somebody out there who's right for me, I'll find him. Maybe I'll end up alone. But that doesn't mean I'm going to be lonely. (See Thought #1.)

I admit it: I'm grieving right now. But there's a big, wonderful world out there. And I want to explore every nook and cranny.


Mary Marlowe said...

Great post... so much more effective to focus on what you have that you DO like, and on what you want in your life. And knowing what you don't want is important, too, of course - how could you know what you do want without knowing what you don't want? Just glad you are back at the place of looking in the direction of where you want to go. Have you considered a dog since your son has a cat allergy? Check out Italian Greyhounds... they are a lot like cats, but no cat fur, just short hair. It is obvious that you are seeing more options than you were Friday, and that is a very good thing. And you are very much not alone.

Carla Coleman said...

Your music friends love you too! Hang in there. Your comments were good for me to read; I would like to focus more on the positives than the negatives as well. If we can help you in any other way, let us!

Janet Burden said...

You are an awesome woman! I was so inspired by your thoughts and words. Maybe your calling (besides being an amazing piano teacher) is to inspire other women to get to know themselves and to live fuller lives!
I know you will figure it all out and find the happiness you deserve!
Love you,

Carley said...

Just like the song--"Accentuate the Positive, Eliminate the Negative, Latch on to the Affirmative, Don't Mess With Mr. In Between"
Sounds like you're getting there!
I pray God blesses you every step of the way. Don't forget Him while you're on your journey!