Sunday, February 21, 2010

The Dating Game

If you have been following my blog for any length of time, you know that I have been playing the dating game. Not the one on television. The real life dating game. I have frequented several singles sites over the years since my divorce, and ended up in a couple of serious relationships as a result, but none of them panned out in the end. So here I go again.

Just to recap, I joined eHarmony towards the end of November, met several potential suitors as a result, and shared a few of those experiences here. However, Bachelors #1 and #4 are no longer in the game, which leaves Bachelor #2, Bachelor #3, and Bachelor #5. And since I have decided to let my eHarmony membership lapse when it expires in a few days, there will be no new contenders, at least for a while. So I am dropping the numbers and using pseudonyms--Jerry, Bill and Jacob, respectively--for the remaining players. And, to be honest, that's as far ahead as I am allowing myself to think right now.

I have met Jerry twice, Bill twice, and Jacob once. Google has confirmed their identities and stories; each is legally divorced, gainfully employed, and handsome, sweet and thoughtful in his own way. We are all friends on Facebook and they read my blog (gulp!) I am enjoying getting to know them, and look forward to spending more time with them.

Interestingly, that has turned out to be the hard part. None of them lives close to me--one is in Duluth, one is in Alpharetta, and one is in Griffin--and we all have very busy schedules, which include jobs, hobbies, and children, so it has been unusually challenging to arrange meeting times. For example, over the next two weeks, I have obligations day and night. I teach/take Nathan to music lessons until late into the evening every Monday through Thursday; next weekend, I am judging for piano festivals both Saturday and Sunday and going to a concert with Nathan on Saturday night; the following Friday I am having an outpatient surgical procedure that will probably keep me in bed for at least a day or two. Sigh.

The good news is that none of these men seems needy or desperate, and none of them is demanding exclusivity prematurely. They have rich, full independent lives, and don't need me or anyone else to complete them. Although we have had great conversations, and ultimately want the same thing--a soul mate, someone to share life's ups and downs, someone to talk with and dream with and laugh with--everyone seems realistic about the time frame involved. That is a huge relief. Because if I am going to be in a relationship, it has to be with a man who will understand my daily challenges, who doesn't expect me to be at his beck and call, who will give me the space I need to do my job and raise my children and work towards realizing my dreams.

At this stage of my life, playing the dating game isn't easy. But I'm not ready to throw in the towel just yet.


Carol Burnside said...

All in all, your account sounds like things are going fairly well. These days, just having no crazies in the bunch is a positive thing. Ha!

Pam said...

Sad, but true. Unfortunately, I have had my share of crazies. Hopefully, I'm getting better at recognizing them when I see them! :-)

jazzyjinx said...

You seem to have better luck than I do. Maybe you could throw one my way?

Pam said...

Shawn, which one do you want? ;-)