Thursday, May 27, 2010

Me mind on fire, me soul on fire...

I don't know what your experience has been, but 2010 hasn't lived up to my expectations. 2009 was a difficult year; almost everybody I know looked forward to a new beginning in January, only to meet with continued or new financial, health and personal challenges.

I will be the first to admit that I haven't lived up to my OWN expectations. I have enjoyed success in some areas but have failed in others. I have learned a few lessons; I have dealt with some losses.

I like to think of myself as an optimist, but some days I feel so defeated I consider the possibility of protecting myself by expecting less. I also like to think of myself as a strong woman. But just today, after receiving some mildly disappointing news and subsequently dissolving into a heap of tears, I realized just how fragile I am right now. I am physically exhausted and spiritually challenged.

I need a vacation. Thankfully, I am going to get one.

Nathan's last day of school was Wednesday; he and I plan to head out bright and early Saturday morning for Tampa. We will spend the night in a lovely hotel, then ride a shuttle to the cruise port and board the Carnival Legend, where we will enjoy two days at sea and visit Belize, Grand Cayman, Cozumel and Isla Roatan. I plan to knock at least a couple of items off my Amazing Life List, but mostly I am going to eat, drink, and sleep in the sun.

I love cruising. I love that someone makes my bed every morning and places a chocolate on my pillow every night. I love the towel animals and the coconut scented shampoo. I love having sushi before dinner and free champagne at the art auctions. I love dressing up and going to the dining room every evening. I love the shows and the deck parties and dancing in the clubs. I love visiting beautiful beaches, meeting local people, and buying inexpensive jewelry and trinkets to bring home.

As a matter of fact, the only things I DON'T like about cruising are the big screen television on the deck and the hairy chest contest. So I generally steer clear of those.

Also, if I meet any handsome strangers, I will run as fast as I can in the opposite direction.

I am hoping to return home rested and refreshed, with positive energy and renewed perspective. In the meantime, happy summer!


Dan said...

It has been a while since you last wrote in your blog. Have you lost your passion for writing?

Pam said...

Not in the least! Watch for an update later today.