Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Clearing the Cobwebs
It all started over spring break. I transformed the big room downstairs into a completely different kind of space; instead of being "just" a piano studio, it is my creative haven now. In the process, I purged boxes of books, bags of trash, and craft supplies I will never use, leaving behind only the items I truly want and need, taking time to organize them carefully. Now, whether I am teaching, beading, sewing, or writing, I am nurtured by my surroundings: the purple walls, the inspirational quotes, the jewelry-making ideas tacked to my bulletin board. And when I need a particular book or craft supply, I can quickly find it, as there is a place for everything and everything is in its place. It feels good. It feels RIGHT.
Now I am doing the same thing with my personal life. For example, I recently ended a several-month relationship that simply wasn't working for me anymore. The truth is, it never did, but I am queen of making the best of a bad situation. Now that it is over, I feel nothing but relief, so I know I made the right decision. I am sleeping better; I am more productive. I am healthier, physically and emotionally. I feel good. I feel RIGHT.
No longer committed to a doomed relationship, I am once again open to new possibilities. But I am feeling a wee bit protective of myself. I have been hurt one too many times; my heart is a bit guarded. Friday night, I turned down a date including a handsome guy, a limousine, a nice dinner and dancing. I decided I would rather stay home and catch up on some reading, writing and television. It felt good. It felt RIGHT.
Today, on the other hand, I have a lunch date with a new guy. There is no fear. Only excitement. It feels good. It feels RIGHT.
I don't really believe in astrology, but I find it interesting. My horoscope today said this:
This period is about keeping your distance and putting your relationships into perspective to see what they're really worth to you, Leo.
Which is exactly what I believe I need to be doing right now.
My horoscope yesterday said this:
You could receive some sort of windfall today, Leo. Use it wisely. Consider buying some time to figure out what you want to do with your life. It's likely that your career isn't exactly ringing your bells these days. You're ready for new challenges and opportunities. Meditate on what would make you happy and then take a systematic approach to achieving it.
Which made me think somebody has been peeking into my windows. Unfortunately, the windfall didn't happen - unless you count a late tuition payment from a piano student as a windfall. I used it to buy groceries instead of time. But I am working diligently on the rest.
Fearless and free. That's who I want to be.