Thursday, May 19, 2011
It's been one of those weeks.
There is so much to do; I race from one activity to the next, feeling that I'm not doing anything very well, sure that I am forgetting something critical. But every day, the piano students had their lessons, my family was fed, the dog got taken out, and the household chores were accomplished. And every day, I took a stab at my additional goals - reading, writing, blogging, beading, listing an item in my Etsy store, practicing piano - and accomplished most of them. I love the sense of satisfaction that comes from a day well spent. I love checking items off my to do list.
Even more exciting, several times this week I experienced the euphoria of being fully focused in the present moment. This is unusual for me; there is generally a lot of chatter in my head, to the point that I sometimes feel detached from what I am doing, distracted as I am by the needs of others and the unfinished tasks that await me. But this morning as I practiced a two-piano piece with a colleague of mine in preparation for her spring recital on Saturday, I found myself completely caught up in the music we were making; I forgot to be anxious about the difficult passages lying ahead, and conscious thought ceased. For a few seconds, all I was aware of was the physical sensation of my body at the keyboard and the sounds we were making. It was short-lived but it was amazing.
Later in the day, as I worked on some special order jewelry designs for an Etsy customer, I became so absorbed in the work I was doing that I completely lost track of time. When I sat down at my beading table, I intended to sit there for only thirty minutes or so; the next thing I knew, two hours had passed and I had to stop and get ready to teach. And I had several beautiful pieces - and more inspiration for the next time I sit down to work - to show for my time. It was all I could do to tear myself away.
I fell short of my writing goal yesterday and haven't written a word yet today, but on Monday I really felt like a novelist as I continued the revision process. I reduced three pages of twaddle to one succinct paragraph, corrected several instances of telling, and improved some wooden dialogue. Unfortunately, I got stuck in the middle of a scene shortly after all that and I still haven't quite figured out where to go. I've got to figure it out, though, and soon, because the clock just keeps ticking. I'm not content to be merely an author. I want to be a PUBLISHED author. And until this manuscript is perfect - or as near perfect as I can make it - that isn't going to happen. Manishi, Imani and Aldith, where are you?
These moments are unpredictable but I am beginning to think that all it takes to make them happen is to show up every day and get to work. To do one thing at a time and do it well.