Sunday, May 8, 2011

We Are Worthy

       


It's been a strange week-end.

I will spare you the details, but a bad date, a mild case of food poisoning, and Mother's Day were involved.

And it hit me like a ton of bricks that I am my own worst enemy.

I am still processing all the data; I haven't quite figured out what it all means.

But there's one thing I know for for sure.

The Universe is trying to tell me a thing or two about where my priorities should be.
  • My family.
  • My physical health.
  • My work.
Period.

And where work is involved, I've got to figure out a better way. The "tripod" of music teaching/beading/writing is wearing me out, yet I seem to get farther and farther behind as the months go by. I can't work any harder so I've got to work smarter.

Because the only person I can count on to take care of me is me.

I have some great ideas that I must make time to explore. While I'm at it, I need to learn how to ask for help when I need it. 

And I need to purge my life of toxins - negative people, time wasters, chemicals.

Because they are sucking the life out of me and I need all that energy for JOY.

Danielle LaPorte posted a great article several months ago which included a declaration of deserving. I copied it down and intend to spend some time mulling it over.

Because I want what I want, I deserve to have it, and SO DO YOU.

Let's stop it with the self-sabotage. And claim all the good things that are there for the taking.

# # #

A bit of housekeeping:

I added 1217 words to my revision today, for a total of 10,794. Fellow ROW80'ers, how are you coming along on your WIP's?

And our online book discussion of To Kill A Mockingbird is scheduled to begin Friday. Who is with me?

20 comments:

Lyla Dune said...

You've got a lot going on. Being pulled in three directions career wise, a single mom, and braving the dating pool. I don't think I could do it.

I agree about prioritizing and flushing the negative from your life.

Best of luck to you and nice going on your WIP. My wordage today was 1289. Not as much as I'd hoped, but I'll take it.

Gabrielle said...

I definitely hear you about purging the toxins. Sometimes I have to wonder how they got into my life in the first place. As for the dating....well, I'm at that place too and I enjoy my family and writing so much more. :)

You're on the right track. Don't doubt yourself on that.

Pam Asberry said...

Lyla, some days I don't think I can do it. But we all do what we have to do, right? The thing is, it's all good stuff. But there really can be too much of a good thing. And there's not enough money. I've got to figure it out. And I will! Congrats on the writing. I was hoping to do more, too, but 1200+ words is nothing to sneeze at. Keep up the good work!

Pam Asberry said...

Gabrielle, I think it's like the proverbial frog in the pot. Over time, we become accustomed to a certain level of discomfort, and the next thing we know we are cooked to death. Your comment on dating is interesting; when I was newly divorced, I really enjoyed dating, but after 10 years of singlehood, I am pretty much over it. ;-) And you are right - I've got to stop second guessing myself, and trust that I am on the right track. I think I'm going to copy your last sentence and post it on my bulletin board. Thank you for stopping by.

Pat said...

I would write more if I didn't have to do this on my phone. I agree with the "asking for help" part I am in on"Mockingbird."

Eric Asberry said...

Don't doubt that (among many other things) you're the bestest sister a guy ever had. :)

Also, I'm down for Mockingbird. (I guess maybe I better start reading, eh?)

Julee J. Adams said...

I thought we'd had this discussion before? LOL I'm right with you on the purging toxins, but still working on getting rid of the time-wasters.

I'm writing, problem is it's in my notes, not in the mss. I did finish editing Wednesday in my SEVEN DAYS mss. and I'm right on target for word count. Glad you're keepin' on.

Here's hoping you find a guy that isn't a time-waster, but know you'll be okay if you don't, because you're totally awesome! Hope you had a great Mother's Day!

Melissa Marsh said...

Ah, balance. It is SO hard in life. I often feel like I will never get done all that I want to in this world - all the books to read, all the books to write, all the places to visit. I guess we must do what we can with the time God allows us.

So sorry you had a not-so-fun weekend. I agree - get rid of the negative and embrace the joy!

Tammy H said...

You will do great, Pam! I believe you can do anything you set your mind to. If that means taking time to love yourself, I say go for it.

I can totally relate to being pulled in a bunch of different directions. I think you are doing an amazing job with all that you have going on.

Tami

Pam Asberry said...

Pat, I thought you were supposed to have the internet by now. Hang in there! I am excited that you are in on "Mockingbird." I can hardly wait until Friday!

Pam Asberry said...

Aw, thanks, Eric. I have a lot of reading to do myself. ;-)

Pam Asberry said...

Thanks, Julee. Yes, I seem to keep having this little conversation with myself. But every time, I seem to gain a little clarity. Be patient with me! And keep up the good work on the writing. Plotting counts!

Pam Asberry said...

Thanks, Melissa. I need to tip the scales away from "pain" and in favor of "gain." It's a process. Thanks for your comments!

Pam Asberry said...

Thanks, Tami. As always, your support means so much to me. :-)

Carol Burnside aka Annie Rayburn said...

Maybe you already have one, but perhaps creating a schedule would help. Actually scheduling in the things you want to get done will help you see what you're letting slide and whether you're unrealistic in your expectations of what you can accomplish.

Sometimes, it also helps us see how much we're getting accomplished. :)

I assume you're making some money with the beading, so have you thought about doing the same with your writing? It's a great boost to the ego to have someone pay to read your work.

When you've completed this manuscript, consider writing and polishing a short story to sell on Smashwords. They distribute it other places if you don't wish to do it yourself. Over time, the sales add up. Plus, you can add other short stories as time permits and they're always online waiting for the next sale.

Food for thought. ;)

Pam Asberry said...

Oh yes, Carol, I have a KILLER schedule. It is completely unrealistic, which is part of the problem; since it is impossible to achieve, I have an excuse to beat myself up every day. But I don't want to let any of it go. Piano teaching is my bread and butter, but my numbers are down thanks to the current economy; I am making a little bit of money with my beading, but it's not enough. I am definitely seeking to make money with my writing, and until I sell my first novel I would like to do some freelancing. I am doing the research now, and will definitely look into Smashwords. Thanks for your comments!

Carol Burnside aka Annie Rayburn said...

Okay, but Pam, the point of the schedule is to see where you're putting undue pressure on yourself and relieve it so that your KILLER schedule becomes managable. You've got to weigh the amount of effort vs. the reward.

Yes, with writing, the monetary rewards are sometines miniscule, but there are other rewards. The kinship with other writers that feeds the soul, for instance. Also, the enjoyment we derive from writing and being creative.

Another mention - Are you refilling your creative well? That's very important!

Pam Asberry said...

Good thoughts, Carol. I need to learn to pace myself better throughout the day, improve my sleep habits, and work on the positive self-talk. I really believe I CAN do it all, I just can't do it ALL AT ONCE. And I will NEVER stop writing, even if it never earns me a dime - because writers are the coolest people I know! :-)

B Snow said...

So sorry to hear about the food poisoning (among all the rest of the mess), ugh, that's the worst.

Hope you figure out a way to get everything sorted, and then let us know your secret! :)

Pam Asberry said...

Well, B, I am happy to say that this weekend has been MUCH better. I will share my "secret" in a post next week! :-)