I have been cheated on by more than one partner. Ten years ago, when I made the decision to divorce my husband, my dearest friend shunned me because her religious convictions prohibited divorce; she has not spoken to me since. Some time later, another close friend betrayed a confidence to build herself up in the eyes of mutual acquaintances. I have poured my heart and soul into piano students only to have them leave my studio with no explanation. Once, a date abandoned me at a club, leaving me to walk several miles home in the middle of the night. And then there have been guys who said they wanted to be my friend but secretly wanted more; then, when faced with the reality of my feelings, they ditched the relationship altogether.
I could go on and on; occasionally, I consider abandoning trust, period. If you keep people at arm's length, they are far enough away that they can't hurt you, right? Come to think of it, I am not at all convinced that it is really better to have loved and lost.
In the long run, though, I know I would be the person most hurt by being left alone. And then the terrorists would have won.
If I am brutally honest with myself, there were warning signs in each of the above situations that I chose to ignore. So it is important that I learn from the mistakes of the past; moving forward, I must keep my eyes wide open and trust my instincts. During this exciting period of intense personal growth I am experiencing, I must not hesitate to purge toxic people and behaviors from my life; instead, I must focus on relationships and activities that will lead to personal growth and overall health.
How do you deal with betrayal? What is important to your health and growth right now?
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On a happier note (pun intended), here is the recording I promised of Natalie and me playing Piazzolla's Libertango for two pianos at her student recital on Saturday. Enjoy!