Thursday, July 28, 2011

Embracing Chaos

Today I learned just how uncomfortable I am with chaos. It all started with a little pile of beads.

Wasabi Green Seed Bead Mix
I bought them with the intention of turning them into ankle bracelets by randomly placing the beads on wire. Alas, that was much harder than I thought it would be. My inclination was to create a pattern that was orderly and symmetrical.


It took me a long time to find a compromise between the two extremes. But I ended up with an anklet design that I absolutely love (top). Then I used two other seed bead mixes to create two more ankle bracelets.



I still need to add clasps to the designs before they will be ready to put in my shop. In the meantime, I have learned a very important lesson.


I'm not afraid of chaos and I'm happy talking to strangers. I really love not knowing where I'm going. ~Fiona Shaw


It's not like I don't have a plan. I have a bustling piano studio. I am building my jewelry business. I am dedicated to improving my writing craft and working on it every day.


But the truth is I don't know exactly where it is all going to end up. Sometimes that frightens me. Sure, I have a picture in my mind of what it might look like. But I have a wonderful feeling that where I end up is going to be better than anything I can possibly imagine. 



Yes, the my life is often messy and chaotic. But I have decided I'm going to stop fighting it. Instead, I'm going to embrace it. Control is an illusion. Maybe the secret is finding opportunities in the unexpected.


As for talking to strangers, I rarely meet one.


What is your chaos comfort level?

20 comments:

Phantomimic said...

Hey Pam, hello from a stranger! Scientifically speaking, what you portray here is a situation of high entropy (chaos, disorder: the pile of beads) that is reduced by an input of energy coming from you and your desire for order (beads on a string forming a pattern). You can try to harmonize with chaos, but chaos by itself it is seldom beautiful, so you always need a measure of order to make look good. This is the application of basic physics, but lots of fun for bracelet wearers!

Amanda said...

Omgosh I am a compulsive pattern maker I can't abide chaos I can't even sleep on a bed that isn't level !! I layer awake one night because the wall paper in my hotel wasn't plumb and the southwest pattern was mismatched....
Sigh.... that said I am learning to turn a blind eye to crooked frames and wrinkled curtains and embrace the world and slap away than sneaky hand that tries to smooth out wrinkles and straighten frames. I think I do these things because souch of my life is out of my control. Lord knows there is nothing sadder that an out of control controlfreak. So take this in the spirit of administration it is meant in when I say BRAVO kick orders ass sister!

Pam Asberry said...

Phantomimic, you're no stranger to me! :-) Your comments made me smile. Thank you for stopping by!

Pam Asberry said...

Amanda, it's a sad fact that there is much in our lives that we simply CANNOT control! I am beginning to understand that the best we can do is create a pleasing sense of order out of the chaos enjoy the process as much as we can. Good luck to you, my fellow out of control control freak! ;-)

Leanne109 said...

I like chaos but I also like pattern, I am seriously an in between kind of gal. One thing can be an utter clutter and then something must be just right. Quite random am I lol

Pam Asberry said...

Hey Leanne, I guess I am an inbetween kind of girl too. Sometimes pattern is called for, but other times it's okay to be a little bit more random. Thank you for stopping by and commenting!

Julee J. Adams said...

Goodness, there are certain things in life I can control and I'm sometimes anal-retentive about them. But, when it comes to beads, I usually just sort by color in larger bins and maybe size. I've done a lot of necklaces and bracelets where I've strung beads randomly, in fact, the majority of my stuff goes that way.
Glad you're letting some things go. Several times on my needlework patterns, I realized I could rip a bunch of it out to redo it or I could get done. No one will ever notice and as the Amish say, "Only God is perfect." Now, if it's a symetrical pattern, I will tear it out and re-do. But, it's okay. The people who love you will still be impressed that you're done. Thanks for sharing.

Grace Burrowes said...

What I must, must have is large chunks of solitary unstructured time, but even that is admitting a need for some structure, yes? You're a musician so the balance between innovative freedom and predetermined structure is probably instinctive with you, something you recognize without having to work at it.... which probably makes your writing and your writing process really interesting too.

To see philosophy in a pile of green beads is no small gift.

Denise said...

Control is an illusion. All we can really do is react to the chaos, hopefully with some bit of grace.

Great post...loved it.

Pam Asberry said...

Julee, I would love to see pictures of some of your jewelry. When I learned to string, I was taught to lay the beads out in symmetrical patterns. Now, there is still a time and a place for that, but I am beginning to see the beauty in the unplanned. Perfection is a whole different ball of wax; I am working on letting go of that, too!

Pam Asberry said...

It's interesting the way you tied music in with my creative process, Grace, and something I intend to spend some time mulling over. It's all a balancing act, I think. I, too, require large chunks of solitary time, but since I am single and now that my kids are older I seem to get plenty of that. What I usually find myself craving is being with people. Probably one of the reasons I never meet a stranger!

Pam Asberry said...

Thanks, Denise. "Seeking Grace" - now there's a title for a future blog post. Thanks for stopping by! :-)

S.M. Carrière said...

An excellent outlook! I'm constantly struggling with the not knowing - fearing that I shall never make it as an author, feeling I should probably quit.

Then every so often, a bright spark ignites deep in my chest, and I'm filled with certainty - I will make it. All I have to do is press on.

"All you need to do is hold on tight... and believe."
- Stephen King.

I'm certainly not OK with chaos, but I'm learning to live with it!

Anonymous said...

I'm collected social security and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I'm someone new every ten years and can honestly say I've had a great life because of embracing chaos! Great blog.

www.edasuzanne.blogspot.com

Pam Asberry said...

I can totally relate, S.M. But energy spent worrying is better spent simply doing the work. I'm with Stephen King on this one! :-)

Pam Asberry said...

I think we are kindred spirits, Anonymous. Thank you for stopping by!

Tami Brothers said...

These look awesome,Pam. I love that picture.

Pam Asberry said...

Thanks, Tami. I am definitely in the middle of a beading frenzy! I plan to finish these anklets and get them listed on my Etsy store a later today.

Buffy said...

I'm a new follower and I just wanted to tell you I'm glad to be here!

Pam Asberry said...

Thanks, Buffy! Welcome aboard! :-)