Thursday, September 8, 2011

Letting Go

I love Avril Lavigne.
My amazing friend Denise wrote an beautiful blog post on Wednesday about getting back in touch with her 13-year old self. It really got me thinking.

She also shared a video.

I am not ashamed to admit that I was sobbing by the end of Oprah's message. It was these words that got to me.

When you've worked as hard and done as much and strived and tried and given and pled and bargained and hoped, surrender. When you have done all that you can do and there's nothing left for you to do, give it up. Give it up to that thing that is greater than yourself and let it then become part of the flow.

I wept because that's precisely where I'm at. I've worked as hard as I can work, I've done everything I know to do, yet my life is still a jumbled mess. I am not making enough money to pay my bills; my biggest dreams remain unfulfilled; every relationship I enter into ends in pain; I'm exhausted and depressed.

Something has got to give. I am goal-driven by nature, but my way isn't working, and I'm thinking it's time to surrender, to let go of the outcome, to get up every day and joyfully go about my business and let God have his way with my life. I'm not even sure how to do that any more - I think I have serious trust issues where God is concerned - but I have reached the point where I feel I have no choice but to try.

Please bear with me as I work toward a new philosophy of life.

I've developed a new philosophy...I only dread one day at a time.
~Charles Schultz

No, wait; that's not it. How about this?

Meditate. Live purely. Be quiet. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine.


Corrie said...

I read this in a book, although I cannot remember the name of the book. It does work--speaking from experience. Think of what you want to give to God--what do you need him to do or help you with. Now imagine putting those worries, situations, etc. in a box and put the lid on it. Choose the coolest wrapping paper that you can think of and envision your self wrapping that box. Decorate it with wonderful ribbons and bows. Now imagine walking up many flights of stairs carrying that beautifully wrapped box. God meets you at the top of the stairs and accepts your gift--all of your worries, etc. He says thank you for trusting him with your gift. Walk back down those stairs thinking how much lighter your walk is. When you feel like you are reclaiming those worries think about how hard it is going to be to go back up all of those stairs and ask God for the box back. Just tell him thank you for helping you with your situations. It makes the trust factor so much easier.

Lindy said...

Emerge from behind those clouds, Pam. I believe in you, and faries. *clapping heartily* You will find trust again. With love, great respect, and lots of hugs - Lindy

Sarah said...

I think that's a great philosophy. Don't feel like you're alone though. I think all of us (at least I know I do) feel like we're trying and trying and still everything feels incredibly fragile and messed up.

I've just recently felt like I've started to pull some things together. But even so, there will always be something else that will mess up the flow of things.

The thing that has helped me to balance things better in the past month is learning to accept that everything doesn't have to be perfect. I tend to be a big perfectionist so there are a lot of things that I end up not finishing or not doing at all because I can't get it perfect. But each day I have to tell myself that things can be a process and a series of baby steps. Everything doesn't have to come together at once. Focus on one thing and do the best you can. If it's not perfect, you can come back to it later, but at least it's better than it was.

I hope this helps you too and I hope that you're able to stick to your new philosophy on life! :)

♥ Sarah @ I'm Loving Books

Denise said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Denise said...

First, you know that the path I'm on is in a big part due to you. You've given me an example of how to follow my dreams and opened doors that I didn't know existed. Thank you.

Yeah, this surrender thing is ALL OVER ME right now. I wrote the blog, I posted it, I got in the car, I turned on my iPod, I decided that instead of listening to the trashy hip-hop that I normally listed to I'd listen to a podcast. Two friends told me about Passion City Church and so last week I downloaded 21, that's TWENTY-ONE, podcasts onto my iPod. As I drove south on 85 heading into Atlanta at 75 mph, I randomly selected this podcast Note: there was SO much traffic and I was going way too fast to choose what I would listen to. I was blindly tapping the screen. So, when I started listening to this message I was once again hit over the head with this whole surrender message. One day maybe I'll get it.

I just have to get up everyday and do what I have been put here to do and get out of HIS way because his dreams are WAY bigger then anything I can come up with.

Note: I'm not seeking fortune or fame. I don't want to be Oprah or anybody else. I just want to rest in the knowledge that I'm exactly where I'm suppose to be doing exactly what I'm suppose to do and want to revel in that even on the difficult days.

I love you.

S.M. Carrière said...

You can do it, Pam. And every step of the way, every single one of us will be there for you.

Beautiful souls cannot be kept dark forever. You are already shining. Trust that.

Pam Asberry said...

That's a great visual, Corrie. Thanks for the suggestion; I'm going to give it a try.

Pam Asberry said...

Thanks, Lindy. I believe in fairies, too. :-)

Pam Asberry said...

Thank you, Sarah. I, too, am a recovering perfectionist, so I understand completely how debilitating that can be. I am glad that some things are starting to fall in place for you; I could really use some success right about now. Thank you for joining me on my journey, and best of luck to you in all you do.

Pam Asberry said...

Wow, it sounds like the Universe really is trying to tell us something, Denise. I will definitely check out that podcast. Keep the faith. I refuse to believe that this is as good as it gets.

Pam Asberry said...

Thank you, S.M. So are you.

Julee J. Adams said...

There have been a couple of times in my life when I've wrapped troubles/issues/parts of my ego that weren't very nice up and handed them to God. It wasn't giving up and saying, "Here, you deal with it," it was "Please tell me what you want me to do."
Take care of yourself physically. Sleep is good. See if you can volunteer a few hours a week someplace that's important to you, rather than dwelling on negative thoughts. You just might find what you're looking for, inside or out.
Love ya!

Pam Asberry said...

It isn't that I'm dwelling on negative thoughts, Julee, and I'm not giving up. For the most part, I love what I am doing; it's just not getting me where I want to go. So it's the OUTCOME I need to let go of. This is becoming clearer to me as the hours pass; I will write more about it later. Thank you, as always, for your support.

Leanne109 said...

My mother ha always told me "God will not give you more then you can handle" The good lord thinks I'm an extremely strong woman so I make myself believe it. I bet you can to :) Hugs Pam!

PS 1 day at a time ;)

Pam Asberry said...

You and me both, Leanne! Yes, one day at a time! <3