Thursday, September 15, 2011

The Secret

You might consider this a follow-up post to Letting Go (click HERE). 

I have felt so off-kilter ever since school started. It has been wonderful seeing my piano students and having a steady income again (click HERE), but my jewelry business (click HERE)  has suffered and writing has come to a standstill. Meanwhile, I have started a new blog (click HERE) and am excited about all the new experiences I have been having. Especially, I am falling more and more in love with my mandolin every day.

Then I opened The Secret. You read it years ago, right? After all, the book was first published in 2006. You have implemented its principles and your life has fallen into place, hasn't it? You're living in your dream home, driving a European sports car, wearing designer duds, investing your millions in the stock market and earning triple digit returns?


Me, neither.

I first heard about this book on Oprah when author Rhonda Byrne made her first appearance on the show; I purchased it immediately and added it to my stash, but then it sat on my shelf for months before I got around to actually reading it.

In case you have been living in a cave, this is the premise of the book. 

The Great Secret of Life is the law of attraction. The law of attraction says like attracts like, so when you think a thought, you are also attracting like thoughts to you. Your current thoughts are creating your future life. What you think about the most or focus on the most will appear as your life. Your thoughts become things.

Sounds good, right? Except if this is true, it seems to me that I should have everything my heart desires. I made a vision board, for goodness’ sake. I’m not just sitting around waiting for my wishes to come true. I have been putting the pedal to the metal.  Day in and day out.

Maybe that’s part of the problem.

Here’s a little more from The Secret:

Your thoughts determine your frequency, and your feelings tell you immediately what frequency you are on. When you feel bad, you are on the frequency of drawing more bad things. When you feel good, you are powerfully attracting more good things to you.

I like to think about myself as a cheerful, positive, optimistic person. But the more I read, the more I realized how much of the time I feel stressed and anxious—about there being too few hours in a day, about my monthly financial shortfall, about my credit card debt, about my children’s future.

I am grateful for everything I have – truly, deeply grateful. But I am ashamed to admit that it seems I am placing my focus on the things I lack – which, according to The Secret, creates more lack.

And what does The Secret have to say about relationships?

Treat yourself with love and respect, and you will attract people who show you love and respect.

I wake up every morning with a daily to-do list that is humanly impossible to achieve, then berate myself for not getting around to it all. I step on the bathroom scales and berate myself for STILL carrying that extra ten pounds. I could go on and on with the thousand and one times I call myself a failure every single day.  Is it any wonder I haven't met anyone who values me enough to make spending time with me a priority, to put my needs first, to accept me as I am?

I am still trying to wrap my brain around this new way of thinking. What I know for sure is that I want to get beyond mere survival.  My immediate stragegy? To resume keeping a gratitude journal (click HERE). To bring the future I want – down to every last detail – into clear focus. To catch myself every time I drift into self-defeating thoughts and feelings. And, as much as possible, to spend my days engaged in pursuits that bring me joy.

Danielle LaPorte blogged about this just today; click HERE to read the entire post. In the meantime, here is a small bite to whet your appetite.

Time management systems are tricky beasts. They may help us be more productive, but not necessarily less stressed, or more fulfilled, or more in touch with our true nature. We may look freer with our priorities all tidy, but too often, time remains the master and we get “given” time for obeying the system.

Old habits die hard; I am going to take this one day at a time, and be patient with myself, trusting in a positive outcome. I like Jack Canfield's analogy, as quoted in The Secret.

Think of a car driving through the night. The headlights only go a hundred to two hundred feet forward, and you can make it all the way from California to New York driving through the dark, because all you have to see is the next two hundred feet. And that’s how life tends to unfold before us. If we just trust that the next two hundred feet will unfold after that, your life will keep unfolding. And it will eventually get you to the destination of whatever it is you truly want, because you want it.

As I was finishing this blog post, an old Dan Fogelberg song, Netherlands, popped into my head. I found a link to it on YouTube and was astonished at the way it resonated with me after all these years - more so today than ever. I will share it with here. Whether you have never heard the song before or you remember it from back in the day, I hope you will listen to every word.

What do you think about The Secret?


Anonymous said...

I was thinking about both The Secret and The Prayer of Jabez recently; I wished that someone would do a follow-up on both. They address that place where the laws of physics and free will collide. I guess I'm not a believer of either. But then, there is the fact of sympathetic vibration or resonance. That rhythm can affect reality.
PS About your post when you received a bad review. Remember that Faulkner failed freshman English at Ole Miss and went on to win the Nobel Prize for Literature.

Julee J. Adams said...

I say The Prayer of Jabez almost every day.

I just edited the scene where one of my characters says, "Fate and faith puts you where you need to be."

While I haven't read THE SECRET, I know that if you're focusing on the negative all the time, you'll stress yourself out and make everything worse. You won't be open for the wonderful things, big and small, that are collecting around you. How do I know? Because it's happened in my life time and time again.

Don't worry about that extra ten pounds. I have almost a hundred to lose and it will happen in time. Our credit card bill is worrysome too, but we're working on it. Let go, celebrate what you have, what you've created and those wonderful things like sleep, exercise, music, family, friends, clean dishes, good food, chocolate, etc.

How many times have I said, "Cut yourself some slack?"

Pam Asberry said...

Thanks, Pete. I guess The Secret is like everything else; I'll take what rings true to me and leave the rest. Thanks for the encouragement with the writing. Like teaching, it is a calling for me. I have to believe.

Pam Asberry said...

Julee, it isn't that I am choosing to focus on the negative; quite the contrary. I really thought I was on track with the positive thinking. But according to The Secret, if you FEEL bad, then you are thinking negative thoughts. So I am trying to use my feelings as a gauge to the correctness of thinking, and I have been astonished by how much of the time I feel stressed and anxious - anything but joyful. I am trying to put a stop to that. And, yes, I guess it's time to cut myself some slack. Thanks for being such a great support system.

Denise said...

I like the Canfield analogy. I get way too ahead of myself. I need to hold the vision while focusing on the hear and now.

S.M. Carrière said...

I do believe in the law of attraction. In Wicca, it's called the Law of the Returning Tide, or the Threefold Law. The idea is that whatever you put out into the universe, be it thoughts or deeds, it comes back at you in one form or another threefold.

It's a work in progress for me. Sometimes it's difficult to find the positive in any situation.

Of course, thinking happy thoughts won't get you what you want - you have to earn it.

You're well on your way, Pam. You work hard and you are wonderful. You'll get there, I'm so sure of it!

Pam Asberry said...

It's an easy trap to fall into, Denise. One day at a time...

Pam Asberry said...

That's interesting, S.M. It seems like every major religion offers a variation of that same tenet. As always, thank you for your encouragement and support!

Anonymous said...

That's interesting information's about the Secret and the Prayers of Jabez recently;i wished some one would do a follow-up on both.....
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