Friday, April 27, 2012

A funny thing happened while I was out fishing...

Today my friend and blog sister Tammy Schubert shared some of her experiences with online dating in a funny, thought provoking blog post (click HERE), prompting me to share another recent experience of my own.

A couple of weeks ago, a guy I will refer to as RP contacted me through Plenty of Fish. We exchanged a couple of polite messages, not remotely suggestive or off-putting, so when he said he would prefer to chat via email, I gave him my address. Our conversation is detailed below, with corrections to his numerous spelling and punctuation errors.

SUNDAY

12:59 AM
RP: Reporting for DUTY! Can I see more of you? Not like your body, well unless you want, but just more pics. I can return favor to you. I hope you sleep great, Pam - very nice to have met you!

1:19AM
Pam: Yes, of course, I will try to add some more pics to my profile in the next day or two. Nice to have met you, too!

1:24AM
RP: Dang, I thought you'd indicated you were sending them here??? Oh, well, I'll wait if I have to. For now, just go to bed. Just imagine a good hot stone massage with hot oil. That'll get you good and relaxed and settled.

2:29AM
RP: Would it bother you if I send nude pics? Would be in good taste, satisfactory, quenching for your thirst. I promise they'll be well done. :-)

(At this point I dropped out of the conversation, assuming this gentleman would take no reply as a no.)

7:54PM
RP: Oh, I forgot to ask. What are your favorite sexual positions? What is your bra size? What is your favorite style of panties. WELL???

9:10PM
RP: Do you by chance use Skype?

MONDAY

12:53AM
RP: Enjoy, I hope.

(Attached were two nude photographs: one close-up and one full-body. I suppose these were intended to excite me but they had quite the opposite effect. I attempted to block his email address but apparently was unsuccessful as I received one final message from him a few hours later.)

10:33PM
RP: Thanks for being a ****-tease. This will be the last time I contact you. You may as well have been a little scared 18 year old girl. You're no woman. Also, don't bother replying as you've been blocked, princess.

* * *

I may be a fiction writer, but I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

* * *
Inspired by my friends and the speakers at Georgia Romance Writers monthly meeting last Saturday, I am finally back on track with my novel. Revising is hard work, and my word count has been actually decreased during the process, but at some point I will have cut all that needs to be cut and will start adding the scenes necessary to finish my story. I will share more about all that, as well as my experience running the Zooma Atlanta half marathon on Sunday, next week. I am committed to posting more regularly, according to this schedule.

Monday: Living Loud
Tuesday: That Need to Create
Wednesday: Books and Writing
Thursday: Keeping It Fresh
Friday: I've been Thinking...

There is nothing I enjoy more than sharing my life on this blog. If I provide you with a chuckle or two in the process, so much the better. Have a great weekend!

22 comments:

Julee J. Adams said...

*sigh* You're right--the characters we find in real life seem so made up when you put them in fiction. Have a super week--I'm going to try to keep from being online my whole weekend!

Pam Asberry said...

Wow, a whole weekend away from the internet. That would probably be healthy for me too, Julee. Hope it's great!

S.M. Carrière said...

Ah hah hah hah! That's so... sad that it's actually hilarious!

Pam Asberry said...

You are so right, S.M.; those pictures that were meant to turn me on had me laughing out loud! :-)

Pete Fox said...

Going to the shower. Quickly.

Denise said...

If this is what you get from the "Christian" dating site, I'm terrified of what the non-secular sites have in store.

Tammy Schubert said...

How sad but funny. Look at the bright side. You have great character material from this guy to help create a crazy character. You even got his picture to include on a story collage. :)

Pam Asberry said...

LOL, Pete! I'm sorry my post made you feel dirty. :-/

Pam Asberry said...

POF is NOT a Christian site, Denise. The fishing metaphor has nothing to do with the religious symbol.

Pam Asberry said...

Good point, Tammy. Except I think I will leave the photos off my story collage. When I look at them, I laugh hysterically. Makes it hard to focus on the writing. ;-)

Patricia said...

Ewwww...

Pam Asberry said...

Well said, Pat. ;-)

S.M. Carrière said...

Reason I don't date, number 1496...

Pam Asberry said...

LOL, S.M.!! :-D

LunaZega said...

OMG! That's hilarious. Gross, but funny. I updated my profile pic on Facebook and some dude who is friends with my older brother started chatting with me. After a few exchanges he actually said, "so, would you sleep with me?"

"uh, no!"

"Oh, okay."

And they wonder why they're single! At least you're writing material has been enriched. :-)

Pam Asberry said...

Yeah, Luna, these guys seem so shocked and disappointed when we're not interested in a quick romp in the hay, right? They are totally clueless as to what constitutes a RELATIONSHIP, even if they SAY that's what they want. Onward!

Emily Sewell said...

Reality is stranger than fiction. Even so, I'd like to know what planet this guy thinks he's on. Keep trying. The good guys are out there!

Pam Asberry said...

It's obvious to me, Emily, that this guy thinks he is the sun and women are planets in his orbit, LOL! Sometimes I'm tempted to give up, but my heart won't let me. I really believe there's a great guy out there waiting for me, and every day that goes by brings me one day closer to meeting him! Thank you for stopping by and commenting.

Tami Brothers said...

OMG! Wow! I just can't imagine people like this. To really think that (he thought) this would get him a girl...

LOL at Tammy's collage idea.

Still laughing. No idea what else to say.

Stay positive. Hugs!

Tami

Pam Asberry said...

What else is there to say, Tami? The (one-sided) conversation speaks for itself. Glad you got a chuckle or two out of it! :-)

Dan said...

Sick people are funny sometimes. At least a chuckle anyway. One thing is for sure. He had a lot of class. It may have been all LOW but he had lots of it!

Pam Asberry said...

I hadn't thought about it that way before Dan. But you're absolutely right. Thanks for the smile. :-)