Friday, October 26, 2012

The opposite of irresistible


Since Jack and I parted ways last summer, I have avoided the dating sites. I have been too busy with my children, my piano students, my online jewelry store, and my writing to spend time thinking about what might be missing in my life. Earlier this week, though, in a moment of weakness, I made a brief foray back into the world of online dating.

During that time, I was hit upon by a married man, a twenty-three year old, and three guys I had spoken with previously who, for reasons unknown, never made the effort to go beyond messaging back and forth on the website. I also received this (unedited) introductory message from Mike*, an age-appropriate and geographically desirable male person:

YOU SOUND LIKE ME...SO ARE YOU A TRUE BELEAVER IN UNCONDITIONAL LOVE...AND WOULD YOU EVER BE A PERSON THAT WOULD LIKE TO BE IN A THREE SUM...DO YOU LIKE TO GO BAREFOOT AND MAKE LOVE IN THE RAIN...AND WOULD YOU BE A WOMEN THAT LIKES TO JUST CLEAN OR COOK OR JUST BE NAKED ALL THE TIME IN THE HOUSE WITH YOUR LOVER...AND WOULD YOU EVER SAY NO TO A MAN WANTING TO TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF ANYTIME ANYWHER...AND MAKING LOVE TO YOU OR JUST TO GIVE YOU ORAL PLEASURE...THATS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. Please excuse me now while I head over to OKCupid and delete my profile...for the LAST time...


*names have been changed

13 comments:

Julee J. Adams said...

No comment, other than what have we learned from this? Well, and EWWWW. Keep going on your life.

Kathy said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!! Reconfirms my decision....

Steven Heath said...

... There are some despicable men out there.

S.M. Carrière said...

... And that is why I lasted less than one month on a dating site. Ugh. Just... ugh.

Pam Asberry said...

Thanks, Julee, Kathy, Steve and S.M., for your love and support!! :-)

Libby said...

That is majorly creepy. "Would you like to be subjugated to my every whim and desire? That's unconditional love - BTW - I'm offering nothing, no reciprocity whatsoever" - And that's why women are scared of dating sites.

Pam Asberry said...

What an accurate paraphrase, Libby! Yes, I am DONE with dating sites.

LisaAnn said...

Oh my gosh, what a complete bonehead. At least you know he thinks you're sexy... ;)

I just read your post about Jack, and I think you are so brave for putting yourself out there and letting us into your world. We have lots on common these days, and you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Dan said...

WOW... I knew there were perverts out there but wow is about all I can say to that.

Truly, good men are a dieing breed. Desperation is where he is at and what he is looking for in a woman. A very sick man.

Don't ever become desperate. You deserve so much more.

Pam Asberry said...

I am almost ashamed to admit it, Lisa Ann, but I found Mike's message flattering in a really twisted kind of way! ;-) Thank you for your kind words. You are also in my thoughts and prayers. I really hope I get to meet you one day!

Pam Asberry said...

Thanks, Dan. I will heed your advice. :-)

Eydie said...

Pam,

Yes, there are a lot of creeps floating around, and there are also some really great guys out there.

I met my husband 25 years ago when I answered his ad (before the internet matchmaking) in a local newspaper. I know your “mister right” is out there for you and he will find you. You are so very deserving.



XOXO

Pam Asberry said...

I love hearing stories like that, Eydie. I'm still hoping for my "happy ending." But I'm not holding my breath! ;-)