Monday, June 23, 2014

Over So Soon


A broken engagement is 100% better than a broken marriage.
~ Unknown

I might as well just cut to the chase: My engagement is off.

And since the break-up last Tuesday night, I have been playing the tape of our six months together over and over in my head, trying to pinpoint exactly what went wrong and what we might have done differently to get our happily-ever-after ending. I think it is fair to say that we both had issues at various times but chose to move forward regardless; in the end, there just wasn't enough glue to bind the relationship permanently.

As much as I loved wearing that beautiful diamond engagement ring, Tuesday night it became blatantly obvious that there was no point in keeping it on my finger any longer.

But I would be lying if I said this has been easy. Wednesday I did nothing besides cry, sleep and cry some more. Thankfully, my friends and family have been totally supportive, and I have basked in their words of comfort and love. To speed the healing process, I have indulged in some retail therapy, two girls' nights out, and a pedicure, and have planned not one but two mini-vacations in July. Things could definitely be worse.

Gradually, my mood has shifted from one of mourning to one of celebration. What if he and I had ignored the issues and gone through with a wedding, only for our incompatibilities to become rifts resulting in a divorce? So much better to figure it out now, right? That is a cause for happiness, not sorrow. So I am grateful for all that I learned from the experience, and ready to move on the next chapter of my life. I have big plans and lots to look forward to in the days, weeks and months ahead, and look forward to sharing everything with you here.

10 comments:

Buffy said...

oh Pam, what a time. glad I saw this, my blog reading is very intermittent these days

maybe you need a maxi vacation to Denver. ;) thinking of you. <3

kevin.talley said...

This may sound odd but I am happy for you. I know it is heartbreaking to see your hopes rearranged, but it is better to restart now, than later.

Your not done, just starting a new chapter! You are beautiful, talented, and a (not hopeless) romantic. I wish you all the best!

Anonymous said...

Healing is brilliant. As the Robinson's say, "Keep moving forward." Love you.

The Writers Canvas, Author Elaine Calloway said...

I agree Pam. Painful breakups are hard, but mini trips and spending time doing the things you love (like writing, shopping, etc.!) are the balm that heals :)

Use the emotion to write some scenes in a book one day, and continue moving onward :)

Elaine

S.M. Carrière said...

Much love for this post.
It really does suck that things didn't work out, but you are right. It's far better this way.
Take the time you need to heal. You are the most important person in your life.
Sending you much love.

Pam Asberry said...

I have never been to Denver, Buffy. Hm...

Pam Asberry said...

You are such a sweetheart, Kevin! You just made my day!

Pam Asberry said...

Anonymous, I had to google the reference, but I love it. Thank you!

Pam Asberry said...

I am trying to do just that Elaine - and yes, it's all material!

Pam Asberry said...

Thank you, S.M. And maybe after I leave Denver I will head up to Canada! :-)